By Mark Vincent Lincir
It’s time to put limits on the top clubs in the world and I’m not talking about simply implementing a salary cap like some people have proposed (oh yeah, nobody will figure out a way around that…$1 million above the table another $4 million under the table).
I’m talking about actual limitations. Like how golfers getting handicapped when playing against lesser competition. Extreme circumstances require extreme measures. And with the richer getting richer and the top clubs being able to buy up any and all special players available, it’s time to level the playing field.
I propose that the Superclubs (Manchester United, Manchester City, Barcelona, Real Madrid) give away a goal before the game even starts. But it gets better…they also give away a goal at halftime too!
So they start the game 0-1…say they tie it at 1-1, then they come out of the tunnel for the second half trailing 2-1. With all the world-class talent that they teams possess it shouldn’t be an issue. While most clubs are bringing in subs that in today’s world of top class superstars equate to warm bodies, the Superclubs are bringing in the second best player in the world at that position to replace the best player in the world at that position.
It just isn’t fair to the rest of us…
I would also like to see hydraulics installed underneath fields so that the Superclubs will be forced to go uphill both halves. And when I say uphill…I mean uphill, like if they stop moving they’ll slide backwards! Sure it might be a bit costly, but do we want to see competitive games or do we want to see these clubs waltz through their competition by half-a-dozen goals every game?
I think that installing little lakes or waterways in the attacking half of the field for the Superclub is another way to at least slow them down. Imagine Ronaldo heading in on a breakaway when he suddenly falls into a body of water! Those bodies of water would disappear and reappear as needed…I’m sure there’s a kid out there somewhere who can program that from their iPad.
Maybe the ball just goes flat once the Superclub gets possession of it?
Individual players should be handicapped as well. Messi wearing swim fins might put a dent in his utter domination of the game. Rooney wearing an eye patch might help. Sergio Aguero wearing ankle weights might help the other team keep track of him better.
Ronaldo should definitely have to wear two of the same shoe…like two left footed shoes! And make them like the old rugby cleats. But then again all these measures might just make the players angry and they’ll probably end up performing better than they ever have despite our attempts to even things out for their unfortunate opposition.
Back to the teams…for every goal that they score they must take a player off the field…and there is no minimum amount of players that they have to play with. So after 10-0 it’s the entire other team against JUST THE GOALKEEPER!
Again…why not? Most players will probably play better without so many teammates around that they feel compelled to share the ball with from time to time.
How about tying players together? That won’t work, many teams train like that to get their spacing just perfect. And bare feet? How much would the beach-bred Brazilians love that?
Rain on one half of the field but not the other? That could become a logistical and environmental disaster. Two ball soccer for the non-Superclub? Hey, I’m just throwing ideas out at this point, hoping to weaken what have become unbeatable fortresses of talent.
So let’s stop complaining that things aren’t fair and implement some of my ideas. They will have an impact…at least initially, until the Superclubs find the perfect players to adapt to the new conditions. In the meantime enjoy watching the top few walk through the weak many.
What’s your idea to level the playing field?
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