By Pat Johnston

The moment the headline flashed that Donald Trump considered buying the shambolic Glasgow Ranger side I burst out laughing. Bill Miller, the American who was in the post position just over a week ago, cited the vitriolic responses he was receiving from the supporters as a reason for his pull out. The anti American sentiment was too much for him to fathom and accept. While this may have been a front for his withdrawal and the fact that the financial picture was even more deplorable than he imagined as the actual reason, the venom was real nonetheless.

Enter Donald Trump, the quintessential American poster boy. Bling, greed, glamour and flash and we are basically looking at the antithesis of the low key and introverted (at least in terms of fame) Miller. This would have been one of the most interesting and zany matches to ever happen in the industry known as Scottish Football. To even entertain the thought of Trump walking into the Ibrox ownership has me in hysterics.

The closest event that would portray the lack of American consideration (a nice way to say ignorance) to the traditions of the game in the UK was the recent hiring of Alex McLeish at Aston Villa. How does Randy Lerner hire the manager of his club’s arch-enemy Birmingham City? And to make matters even more comical, City had just been relegated! We all know that went down like a ton of bricks. Who is advising Lerner anyway?

Back to Trump, if history is any indication, here’s what happens when he takes control; He buys and hires Celtic manager Neil Lennon because ‘The Donald’ knows “if you can’t beat ‘em, you buy them” and every halftime at Ibrox will feature some trendy pop star while the sidelines are decorated with eye candy ladies who are freezing so vehemently that their goose bumps are visible from the top row.
Trump then decides to run a reality show to rival the Dream Team soap opera that graced the viewing audiences in the UK. What makes this beyond funny is that what I say here would have actually been feasible under Sir Donald (you know he would have been pursuing that title…).

Glasgow Rangers owned by Donald Trump? No way, the supporters would scream in unison, "YOU"RE FIRED!" And then I would introduce them to Mark Cuban.